Day Twenty Three - My final farewell (for real this time)

I admit it. For the last two days I've been horrible with my food restrictions. I realized pretty quickly that I'm not really ready to give up gluten forever. So I made myself a deal. For two days, the sky was the limit for what I could eat. I have indulged in homemade cookies, white bread sandwich rolls, ice cream, hamburgers with the bun, and so on. Absolute junk.

I am physically feeling so gross right now. I can not wait until tomorrow, when I really am beginning my journey for real. Some of you may be thinking, "Seriously, lady. You've already started how many times?" Yes, I've had some hiccups and some excuses. But those are gone starting tomorrow. Finally I feel completely emotionally and physically ready to give up gluten. I was ready to do it for three months. Not the rest of my life. So please forgive my little foray into the land of the forbidden for a final time. And brace yourself for some delicious recipes I plan to send your way as I jump back in to the world free of gluten, eggs, milk, peanuts, almonds, sugar and yeast. I tell ya, it's going to be good!

Day Twenty Two - Service

Today was an emotionally taxing day for me. I had an opportunity to serve someone I admire a lot, but the service I gave affected me more than I thought it would. At the time, making the choice was not only easy, but felt like the right thing to do. But as I said goodbye to the individual I had helped, a feeling of weight settled over me. For a while I thought it was because of the promise of help I had given to this individual. As the day went on though, I've come to realize that perhaps by providing the listening ear, I was able to actually take some of the burden off that person, and internalize a bit of it myself.

In my journey I'm on, I realize that there a number of you who have helped to bear the burdens I'm struggling with. Some of you I've known for many years. Some have come into my life fairly recently. And some of you have known me forever, and understand the family bonds that keep us strong, even when things are difficult. In the end, I feel like I am able to handle this new life I'm embarking on because I know that when I need a good cry, I've got a great safety net to fall back on. So for the second blog day in a row, thank you, thank you for who each of you are, and for the part you play in my life!

Day Twenty one - My awesome brother in law

Can I tell you how awesome it is to have a brother in law who happens to be a doctor? I try not to bug him with too many questions, because I understand how valuable his time is, but tonight we had a long chat all about what has been going on with me. He says it sounds like I have a great doctor here, which is just the boost of confidence I need, since some of the treatments are different than I'm used to. It was fun to be able to read my lab numbers to someone I know, and have them completely understand what I was talking about. I'll be seeing one more specialist, at my BIL's recommendation, and then we'll see how this journey plays out.

Thank you, thank you to my friends and family who are supporting me as I work through this diagnosis.  You guys are amazing!

Day Twenty - The Verdict

Today was my dreaded meeting with Dr. P. This time I was ushered into his office with no wait time at all. By the time I left, I wonder if I was the cause of the rest of his day being behind, due to the millions of questions I had. I was completely wrong in my speculations for why I had to go back to the office. Instead of talking about adrenal problems, he pointed out the results of a thyroid test I had forgotten I had even taken. Turns out I'm allergic to myself.

Yep. You heard it here first. Apparently my body got tired of trying to fight the gluten in my body and instead decided to attack my thyroid. Now I personally don't think that's a very mature way to handle my inner body problems. But apparently I am in the minority on this one. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease, which I think is a pretty cool name for the problem I have.

Hashimoto's is an auto-immune disorder that results in a certain part of the body being attacked by the immune system. At least that's what I think it is. By the time I left the office, my head was spinning a bit. I prefer to look at it this way. My body is waging a war on my thyroid. Instead of trying to treat it with medicine, which Dr P says is kind of like chasing a moving target, we're trying to win the war by building up my system with lots of supplements like pine bark and grape seed and green tea capsules.

Probably my favorite part of the visit was him telling me that by following the eating program he put me on, I am already taking a big step towards fighting this. Luckily for me, I have most of the tools in place. The worst part of the visit was him telling me that I will never be allowed to eat gluten again, for the rest of my life.

Have you ever thought about how long "the rest of your life" really can be? I envision birthday parties with my great grandchildren, and them asking why Great Grandma doesn't want any cake. Of course by then, I'll be able to plead senility, but it's the silly things like no cake that scare me a bit. I fully plan on the rest of my life being quite a few years down the line. That is a long time to get used to saying no to cookies, homemade bread, pasta, certain types of sauces, and more.

I know that there are a lot of gluten free items in the stores right now, but I can't eat any of them. I can't have rice, corn, eggs or milk, which are all common ingredients in a GF diet. I really hope that in a few months, some of those allergies have calmed down. I was ok doing this rabbit food diet for three months, but I didn't imagine he'd say forever, at least with the gluten.

Bottom line, though, I echo my sentiments from the first week. I don't have cancer, or any major catastrophe to deal with. I just have to eat really, really healthy. And though I'm sure I'll cry on occasion over my inability to have wheat bread, I'll adjust. Life is too short to spend dwelling on things that are out of my control. Wish me luck moving forward!

Day Nineteen - Spiritually fed

How grateful I am for the Sabbath day! I didn't hear much of church today, because my daughter's finger was still hurting her a lot. But I was spiritually fed in other ways. I had a camp meeting at my house, and to see the enthusiasm of the 25 girls that are coming to camp as youth camp leaders filled my spirit with warmth. They were all so eager to discuss ways to make camp a special experience for the younger girls who will be attending. I loved listening to their ideas.

I feel as if my spirit is more open right now, and I'm aware of the tender mercies I'm seeing in my own life. I feel like my body is being beaten down, and my emotions are being taxed, but I am able to maintain a fairly happy outlook on things, which isn't always my way.

I've been pondering a lot these last few days about worst case scenarios that Dr P will throw at me. I don't like all of the options I've read about for adrenal dysfunction, and I'm scared that I won't be able to handle the news. But then I realize that I don't have to do it alone. I've got an amazing support group of friends who are able to carry me when my spirits are low. And in the end, I hope to be able to encourage someone who will walk this path after I do. I am blessed.

Day Eighteen - New friends

As some of you know, I'm the stake girl's camp director. With over 300 girls attending camp, I have a goal to meet each one and know her name before camp hits. It is a lofty goal, especially for someone like me who forgets names and faces quicker than I'd like to claim. Well, tonight was a great opportunity for me to meet another table full of girls.

We had the opportunity to listen to the YW general conference broadcast with a number of people from the stake. Afterwards, the girls immediately filed to the cultural hall, where of course a delicious dessert was waiting all the attendees. I felt a sad pang for the treat I knew I couldn't have, but then quickly excused myself from the group I carpooled with and went to work.

Luckily there was a table with an empty chair, which I quickly commandeered with a friendly hello and an introduction of myself. Before long I was laughing and joking with my new friends. Hailey, Shay, Madaline, Tracy, and Christy, I remember who you are. Yes, it was only five of the 300 young women, but those five girls are now imprinted in my mind. The cool thing was that when my own daughters came to drag me away, I realized that I hadn't even missed the dessert. What a great way to spend my evening!

Days Sixteen and Seventeen - Muddy

Nothing to exciting to report. I'm still recovering from the 5 K attempt. I definitely have learned my lesson about going slowly. I hope Dr. P has some insight as to why I am so tired all the time.

Some friends are participating in a Mud run of sorts (4 miles, muddy obstacles, ect.) and I'd really love to run it with them, but I don't know if my body will be able to handle it. If not, I can cheer them on, and hopefully by next year I'll be up to it. It is so frustrating not being able to make my body do the exercise that my mind thinks I'm capable of!

Day Fifteen - Weighing in

I've been afraid to step on the scale this week. I didn't eat like I should have over the weekend, and I know that the number my scale says means a little too much for me. Well, over this past week I guess I've learned that the numbers aren't everything. I technically gained almost a pound this week, which isn't what I wanted, but I had some other results that made me smile. A lot.

First of all, I dropped my body percentage of fat by a full percent. I have one of those nifty scales that calculates the total body fat, and my number is down. I would think my scale is broken, except that I can see the measurement elsewhere. In just one week, I've moved to a size smaller on my belt buckle. In fact, I have to wear a belt if my pants are going to stay up. I think that is a victory indeed.

Little things like the smaller belt size keep me going, when temptations are hitting me from every side. The last couple of days I've been a 90 percent dieter, meaning that if I am not perfect, it's ok. But the reality of life is that it is not ok. I need to be 100 percent committed to this journey, or I won't succeed. The gluten can't clear out of my system if I keep introducing it back in. Neither can the sugar. Time to up my percentages a bit.

In other news, I trained for the 5 K again today, and this time I was completely knocked out. I'm talking dead asleep on the couch, unable to process what was going on around me. Thank goodness for older children, who I knew wouldn't be getting into danger while I slept. Will I ever learn to take baby steps in getting my exercise in? I'm not sure. Dr. P's office called, and I'm supposed to go back in on Monday to get my adrenal gland test results. The fact that he wants to see me, and not just go over results on the phone, says to me that something is probably amiss. I'm hoping he'll be able to tell me why I'm so exhausted after exercising.

Here's to hoping I find the baby steps I need!

Day Fourteen - Presents to me

We've had the same kitchen pots since getting married, many years ago. I decided that if I am going to be successful at cooking healthy meals, I'd better have some equipment that will help me out. So off to Costco I went, and I picked up these:

I especially can't wait to try out the steamer pot. Ah, the simple joys in life.

Day Thirteen - The 5 K

I am signed up to run a 5 K in June, which is amusing to me since I can't really exercise. But I'm determined to get my body to a point where running a 5 K will be not only possible, it will be fun. I decided that today I'd change my training approach. In the past, I would alternate running and walking on the treadmill, bringing my heart rate up and strengthening my muscles. For today, I decided to see if it was possible for me just to reach the distance of 3.2 miles walking.

My treadmill is in the basement, with the computer right next to it. I needed me some good walking TV to keep me distracted, so of course I chose Biggest Loser since I was behind an episode. I figured I'd walk for about half the episode, and then be able to sit and watch the rest. Wrong! My finishing time was 68 minutes, during which time I laughed and cried along with the contestants. No, Bob and Jillian didn't come into my basement to beat me up. But I pretended like they were.

Today I did a 5 K. Yes, I walked it all. But I did it. I probably could have run some of the way, but my goal today was just to finish. I'm encouraged for June. Even if I don't finish anywhere near the front of the pack, at least I know I'm capable of completing the course. Yippee!!!

In my continued journey for healthy eating, chicken fajitas are a newly discovered favorite:

Day Twelve - Achievements

My oldest daughter earned her YW medallion today. Those of you who are LDS know what this is. For those of you who aren't, I'll explain. Starting at age twelve, the young women in our church receive a booklet of goals to work on, focusing on eight values. Each section has seven small activities that must be accomplished before they can tackle a ten hour project. For example, in the faith section, the girls may read certain scriptures, and then write in their journal about how they apply to their lives. Or they might learn a couple of church hymns, and how to conduct them. The ten hour projects are much more in depth. One thing my daughter did was make dinner for our family every night for a couple of weeks. She taught herself to play the flute and she made a cross stitch picture of the Hawaii temple. She read the Book of Mormon entirely, and that's just half of the goals she did.

I was so proud of my daughter for the way she approached the goals. She moved through the different challenges with enthusiasm, and couldn't wait to reach the end of her journey. Now she's beginning it again, just because she can.

Maybe I need to move forward a bit more like her? I hope that by the end of my own personal journey, I'll want to continue with my good eating habits. Eventually the doctor hopes I'll be able to add in a few things, like wheat or eggs, twice a week. I think by the time I get there though, I won't be so interested in eating the same foods anymore. I hope by then, I'll really have made this good eating a habit!

Days ten and eleven - circling

We've enjoyed a week of having guests at our house. I never imagined how difficult it would be to eat my own meals while preparing food for a large number of people. Last night we had homemade bread sticks. The smell of the warm bread tempted me, but I was able to resist. Instead I concentrated on the good conversations we were having, and the fact that my meal was just as delicious as theirs was, but my food wasn't going to make me sick.

I feel like I've made a complete rotation in my journey. I started out strong, eating perfectly. Then I began to add in "cheats" of sorts, justifying maybe a little sugar here or a tiny bit of gluten there. That brought me quickly to the misbehaving phase, where I ate whatever I wanted to for 24 hours. I began to repent of my ways, and brought my food back to where it needed to be. Now I'm at the top of my circle again, eating correctly.

I am actually really glad for my little foray to the bad foods. Just a week of eating healthy had not shown me how much my body was improving, until I stopped. Within just hours of eating my naughty list, I was physically ill. My stomach hurt, my head hurt, and my throat felt congested. Now I am back to eating properly, and I feel like I am in charge, and choosing to eat this way, instead of being forced into it by the doctor.

Day Nine - Giving Up

We had yet another round of doctor's visits this morning. The great news is that my sweet daughter probably won't need surgery after all. We went to our third specialist today, and he said the finger will heal nicely on it's own. Unfortunately, the timing of yet another visit was enough to throw me out of whack. They wanted us to come in immediately, and we weren't home until after lunch time.

I really need to figure out and prepare some ready to go snacks. If I had planned ahead, I could have brought a baggie of fresh cut carrots or celery to tide me over. Instead, I ended up eating at Noodles and Co. Yes, I already said goodbye to them. But today, I said hello. I broke almost every eating rule I have today.  I gave up.

The funny thing is that none of the food tasted as good as I remember. And within just a short time, my stomach ached from the poor choices I made. By dinner time, I couldn't wait to have a large salad and get back on track.

On a slightly different topic, I realize this journey had become too much about the weight loss. I lost a ton the first few days, and now my body has slowed down. I decided that I can not weigh myself until next Wednesday. I'm allowing my fluctuating body to dictate my self worth. So look for an update in about a week, and we'll see how behaving is treating me.

Day eight - Internal strength

I'm a week into this journey, and so far, I'm still alive. Who would have thought I could do it? Certainly not me. I am amazed at how much junk I used to feed my body. As I go through my day, it is amusing to see what foods I crave, or what I'd reach for without even thinking about it. I'm loving the control I'm having over my life, and wondering why I didn't do this much sooner.

Today my adventures with my daughter continued. Her finger will need a skin graft to help it heal. I had to deal with insurance tangles, two plastic surgeons, and one tired little girl today. She was a trooper still, although being told she'd have to wait until Monday to have surgery was hard news to hear. We really wanted things to be fixed today.

Throughout it all, I really did a lot of reflecting on my own journey. I am nowhere as disciplined as I want to be with my eating. But I watch the strength of my daughter as she deals with a very uncomfortable situation. If she can be strong, through obvious pain, so can I. I'll keep fighting my food battles, and in the end, I'll win.

Day Seven - The unexpected

Adventures in the ER today threw my eating patterns all off. Right now I'm more concerned about getting my daughter's injured finger fixed than any diet I'm on. I did behave, though, and get a salad at Wendy's, sans dressing, for my late night dinner on our way home from the hospital. I guess it's another lesson in going with the flow, no matter what life throws at you.

I do have to say, I've never seen a braver child.  My daughter didn't cry once, even with the tip of her finger cut off, possibly to the bone.  She is a trooper, and her attitude did more to calm me than I probably did to calm her.  What an amazing girl! 

Day six - Jambalaya

A number of months ago during a visit out of town, I went to my father in law's Cajun restaurant. During that fateful visit, I got my first taste of Jambalaya, which has left me craving more ever since. In the months that have followed, I have been searching for something that would satisfy that craving, and I think I finally found it.

This is my recipe for jambalaya. The best thing about it is that I can eat it, as long as I use brown rice. The downside is that brown rice takes much longer to cook than white, so dinner tonight took a lot longer than I thought. I hope you enjoy it!

Jambalaya Recipe

2 teaspoons coconut oil

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces

12 ounces Andouille sausage, cut into bite size pieces

1/2 onion, diced

1 green bell pepper, diced, or any combination of red, yellow and orange peppers

1/2 cup diced celery

2 tablespoons chopped garlic

2 t. Cajun seasoning

1 can diced tomatoes, with juice

2 cups uncooked white rice

6 cups chicken stock

Directions

Heat oil in a large pot over medium high heat. Saute chicken and sausage until lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Stir in onion, bell pepper, celery and garlic. Season with Cajun spices. Cook 5 minutes, or until onion is tender and translucent. Add rice, then stir in chicken stock. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat, cover, and simmer 20 minutes, or until rice is tender. (Note: If you're using brown rice, simmer for 45 - 50 minutes, or until the rice is done.)

Day Five - Home baked temptations

I've been doing fairly well on this journey of mine. Four perfect days of eating under my belt, and a steadily dropping weight to show for it. But today was my worst day yet.

In my family, I have a few children who love to bake. Every day since starting this life change, my son has been begging to make cookies. For those of you who know me well, you know how much I appreciate a delicious cookie, fresh out of the oven. The melting chips, the crispy edges, the soft centers. Yeah, I'm a sucker for home baked cookies.

When I first told my friend about the food changes I was going to eat, she warned me that I should still be sensitive to the wants of my family. I may be changing everything all at once, but I want to bring them along gradually with me. So today I said yes to my son.

He and my daughter made up a delicious smelling batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Just for a refresher, here's all the ingredients I'm supposed to avoid: peanuts, eggs, butter, wheat flour, and sugar. That pretty much leaves the baking soda, salt, and vanilla! I thought I'd be strong, and for a few hours I was. But walking by the tray of cookies time after time, I finally caved.

Yep. I ate a cookie. This probably sounds absurd to most of you reading this. It's a cookie. What's the big deal? For me, that cookie represented both a weakness and a victory. It was obviously a weakness because I ate something I know is bad for me. In the past I've eaten many cookies, not worrying about what they were doing to my body. But today I knew better.

Here's where the victory comes in. I was able to eat just one small cookie and stop. Yes, they still smell delicious, and look as yummy as they tasted. But for me, choosing only one was a huge victory. So I'm kicking myself a little bit, and mostly trying to smile and move forward with my journey.

And the cookies? They quickly made their way onto paper plates to be handed out to the neighbors surrounding us. My children got exercise running from house to house, and I got rid of my worst temptation.

Here's photos of what I ate today.  Lunch was a salad topped with peppers, sprouts, cheese, and tomatoes.  I never realized how much I enjoy raw peppers.  For dinner we had taco salad, which is another meal I could eat with the family.  I tell you, eating this good is spoiling me!

Day Four - Positive thinking

I am struggling a bit today, but am determined not to complain. I know that the negativity I can create will do more damage to me in this journey than I care to think about. So I taking a few minutes for myself in the busy day I have, and I'm trying to refocus. I think I'm letting fears creep in today. What if I cave? What if I stop losing weight? What if I still don't get my energy back? The empty whats aren't doing anything for my mental health, so away they go.

I guess I need to focus on the good. In just three days, I've lost five pounds. I am a fan of the Biggest Loser show. In fact, one of my old neighbors was a contestant on the show. I love watching week one, and seeing how much they are able to lose. I've also always thought that would never be a reality for me, because I physically can't do the exercises. Not because I'm overweight, or lazy. I really, physically can not work out. There is something wrong in my body, which is what Dr. P and I are trying to figure out, and then fix.

I have heard too many people blame their weight gain on circumstances. They don't have time to exercise, or they don't have money to join a gym. I've used the same excuses myself. My daughter has told me about a girl at her school who can barely walk around the track, and says the girl is obese because she can't exercise. But here I am, on day four, losing weight without even breaking a sweat. I'm eating right, and that is something that is completely in my control! A few days into the journey, and I feel like shouting from the roof tops about what a difference this food is making in my life.

I feel empowered, which is a stronger feeling than the fears.

I see the numbers on my scale going down, and although that makes me giddy with excitement, I am more excited for what is going on inside my body. With each bite of veggie, I feel like I am sending an army down into my blood stream, to combat the crud that I'm sure has accumulated over the years of eating junk. I am loving that power!

Here's my meals for the day:

I love my gluten free oatmeal with Greek yogurt, blueberries, and pecans!

Lunch was a nice salad, teriyaki beef, black beans, and red peppers. More pretty colors.

For dinner, I tried quinoa for the first time.  I loved the texture of this new grain.  I also had lemon pepper tilapia, shrimp, and steamed veggies.  This was a meal the entire family was able to eat.  I loved not having to think of something seperate for me. 

Day three - Colorful!

This morning I couldn't wait to stand on the scale. I knew I had been so good yesterday, and I expected the numbers to show it. Sure enough, I lost another 1.8 pounds. I am now officially the lightest I've been in at least a year! Although my goal with this journey isn't weight loss, I love that side effect. Like yesterday, it gave me the motivation to keep plugging forward.

I am already starting to get into a bit of a routine. Once the kids are gone to school, I can make my breakfast and plan my next meal. I am amazed at the enthusiasm I feel even though I am cutting so many things out of my life. Yesterday I only felt a little bit sad, and today I haven't felt deprived at all. I am finding an inner strength I didn't know I had, and I am loving it!

As I walked to and from the school today to volunteer in my son's class, I had a few minutes to reflect on the last few days. This definitely will be a physical journey for me, as I make a very direct connection between the foods I put into my body and the results I feel. What I didn't expect is the emotional and spiritual journey this is turning into. I feel more emotionally raw, like I am open and vulnerable to what the world may throw at me. I also feel more grounded.

My walk gave me time to reflect on some of the more tender things in my life. I believe deeply in the power of prayer, and it was nice to feel like that side of me is more open to receiving answers. I am feeling an inner peace that has been missing from my life for quite some time.

As I prepared my food the remainder of the day, I was struck by one thought. Colorful! Have you ever taken the time to appreciate how beautiful all those veggies are? I know I haven't. My taste buds enjoyed the foods I ate while my eyes enjoyed the spread before me. As always, I'm grateful for the beauty this earth provides us. I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who chose to provide such a rich visual experience for us on this earth rather than making everything functional. We are truly blessed!

The day is finally nearing an end, and as I wind down, I am grateful to say I made it through day three. My intense sugar cravings come and go, but I am learning to be strong and resist caving into them. I am looking forward to day four!

Here's what I ate for lunch today.  The friend who gave me the recipe calls it the seductive pasta, since it was what she would cook for the guys she dated.  I tweaked the recipe a bit, adding much more veggies and letting go of the pasta.  All in all, this was my favorite meal so far. 

Here's the recipe:

red pepper

yellow pepper

carrot

zuchini

yellow squash

tomato

onion

(Really you can put any and all veggies you like.  I prefer to chop mine up, but if you grate them you'll end up with a more saucy recipe.)

1 clove garlic

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. pepper

1 t. dried basil

1/2 t. dried oregano

1/4 t. dried thyme

1 T. coconut oil or olive oil

After chopping your veggies, combine in a large bowl with all the seasonings.  Heat oil in a large skillet.  Saute the veggie mix for a few minutes on med - high heat, then turn down to low and simmer for 15 minutes. 

This makes a great topping for pasta.  In my case, I skipped the pasta and topped it with grilled chicken breast instead.  I also added grated parmesan cheese.  My adjusted seasoning sizes were perfect for just one serving of food.  Delicious!

Day Two - the birthday challenge

I have a habit of weighing myself every morning. I know when you are trying to lose weight, people recommend that you only weigh weekly, but I love to watch the numbers on the scale. This morning when I weighed myself, I found the motivation I needed to jump into day two. In just 24 hours, I had lost 1.4 pounds! And I had lost it all by eating really well. It was just the boost I needed to jump start my day.

I learned a trick today that I hope will work for the future. I knew I had to plan ahead for lunch, since I'd be cooking it. So by breakfast time I had decided what I was going to eat for lunch. In the hours following my oatmeal, I kept saying to myself, "I can't wait until lunch time when I can eat stir fry." No, I'm not a fan of stir fry. But I am a fan of sticking to my goals.

The funny thing is that by lunch time, I really was excited for that meal. I ended up making teriyaki beef and grilled yellow and red peppers, which I ate over salad. No, it wasn't my stir fry, but I was excited to be eating yet another healthy meal.

After lunch, I was ravenous! I couldn't get rid of the munchies, so I made up a batch of hummus. Dipping carrots in the hummus hit the spot for me, and I was able to make it to the most challenging part of the day. Dinner.

I have to say, for the most part I can't wait to start cooking healthy dinners for my family and dragging them along this journey with me. But tonight I had a birthday party I was attending. I called someone to see what was being served for dinner and she told me it was a baked potato bar and salad. "Perfect," I thought. "At least I can eat part of the meal.'' I went to the local grocery store and picked up some already seasoned chicken, which I then proceeded to cook on my George Foreman grill. When it was time to leave for the party, I tucked a baggie of chicken into my purse, and off I went.

I got a lot of strange comments and looks when I pulled out my chicken, but I was able to top my salad with something delicious and stay within my eating rules. Dessert was cupcakes, which luckily have never been too tempting to me. I was able to admire how cute they looked without feeling too badly that I was missing out on something special. All in all, it was a good day.

Here's a photo of my teriyaki beef salad.  Yes, it was a yummy as it looks!

Here's the recipe for the hummus I made (thanks sis!):

2 cans chickpeas (Garbanzo beans) or equivalent if you make your own

the juice from one lemon

1 t. salt

1/4 cup tahini

2 cloves garlic, crushed

2 sundried tomato halves, ripped into small pieces

Blend the ingredients together in a food processor or blender, adding juice from the beans a little at a time until the desired consistency is found. 

Day One - I will survive!

A late night shopping trip to the store last night left me feeling a little bit better about beginning my journey. I listened to the advice of one of my oldest friends, who wisely recommended that I make a specific area just for my food. So when I returned from shopping, all the other food was unceremoniously dumped from the bottom drawer of the fridge, and that drawer became mine.

I am sure my hubby thought I was a bit crazy as I pulled out each item and declared, "MY zucchini. MY celery. MY squash," and so on, as I carefully placed each item in MY drawer. With my food in place, the day was set up for success.

I began my morning with a large bowl of oatmeal, topped with Greek yogurt and a handful of blueberries. In that one meal, I had already met the limit for sugar consumption. No prob, I thought, until lunch time came.

I'll admit, my lunch was pretty tasty. Spring salad mixed with extra spinach and topped with shrimp and cheese. Yum! I love the taste of plain shrimp, so until I figure out what to flavor it with, this was satisfying for me. I ate my lunch, and then my taste buds began to complain. What about after lunch dessert? I am definitely a hobbit in some regards. I love breakfast dessert and snack dessert and lunch dessert, and so on through the day. So when I told those taste buds of mine that no dessert would be coming, they were not happy. Neither was I. The funny thing is that after about ten minutes, I forgot all about needing the sugar.

In the evening I decided a trip to the closest Whole Foods Market (about an hour away) was necessary if I wanted to survive day two. On the way out I stopped at Bajio's for dinner. Although I'm pretty sure their menu won't be a regular for me, I made the best selection I could. I enjoyed my burrito bowl, with black beans, rice, and chicken. The rice was white instead of brown, and I'm not sure if they use gluten in their chicken seasonings, but I was happy to know I could make a similar dinner at home that would be delicious.

Shopping at Whole Foods was an interesting process. I found some Gluten free items that were kind of in the range of my limits, but in the end I decided I'm not in this process to cheat my way through. So I put them back, and left the store with chopped pecans, more veggies, and one kind of pasta made with Quinoa. I left with the realization that many stores closer to home will carry the items I need.

As I rolled into bed that night, I had to smile. I survived day one, and it was not as difficult as I thought it would be.

Saying goodbye

When I got my diagnosis, I did what every self respecting person would do.  I began to say my goodbyes.  First stop was a frozen custard store, which I said farewell to as I walked out eating swirled chocolate and vanilla custard topped with peanut butter cups, cookie dough, fudge, and almonds. 

Next on the list was Noodles and Co.  Goodbye to the yummy parmesean crusted chicken breast, penne pasta, and cookies. 

With a sick stomach, and a sad heart, I decided I was ready to begin my adventure in the morning, except I didn't know what to eat for breakfast. 

When Tuesday morning came, I started out my day with some steamed veggies.  Needless to say, the day went downhill quickly.  By 10:45, I caved.  It was time for some more goodbyes.  The remainder of the day was filled with much more junk.  Goodbye bread.  Goodbye Krispy Kreme.  Most sad of all, goodbye chocolate cinnamon gummy bears. 

My food consumption was going down hill fast, but my attitude was slowly improving.  I had talked to a few key support people in the last 24 hours during my various fits of crying.  Here's what I concluded.

No, my life wasn't ending.  The doctor didn't tell me I have cancer.  I don't have to have surgery.  I didn't lose a loved one, a pet, or even my keys.  Yes, it was an overwhelming diagnosis, and yes, I am still not sure what I'll do, but I have been given the tools to turn my life around.   I went to bed ready for the journey to officially begin. 

The adventure begins!

In the history of all the Mondays I've ever had, I think this week's Monday counted as my hardest. What should have been a simple blood result screening turned up results that turned my world upside down.

The setting:

     A non-descript doctors office room, with little in decor to keep a patient entertained while the doctor is an hour late for the appointment.

The characters:

     Myself:  A busy mom of five, with not nearly enough energy. Too many pounds overweight, and way more tired than should be normal, even for someone packing an extra 70ish pounds.

     Dr P:  A rather handsome looking doctor who is the perfect example of good health. Probably is good friends with a gym. Definitely is good friends with his food.

The scene:

     Dr. P enters with a handful of yellow papers. Seven papers that will change my life forever.

As he begins to scroll through the results, he throws out the most random one first. "You have one of the most severe peanut allergies I've seen in a long time," he says.

"No I don't," I reply, my confidence in him ebbing a bit. Why I had peanut butter that very morning, and have no symptoms to show for it. No itchy rash. No breathing problems. Already this visit is not going as I hoped.

"Actually, you do," he insists. "You can't see what that peanut butter is doing to the inside of you."

Oh. He's got me there. And my stomach certainly hasn't been feeling the best lately.

The diagnosis continues, with Dr. P making mark after mark on those blasted yellow papers. I won't share with you all the boring details. But after lots of bantering back and forth between the two of us about things he says are wrong with me that I disagree with, I get the final results.

My allergies and sensitivities include the following:

Wheat

Gluten

Peanuts

Milk (but hard cheeses are ok)

Eggs

Almonds

Oats

Soy

and... drum roll please...

Sugar

In a nutshell, for at least the next three months I have to eat a diet as if I have Celiac Disease as well as Candida. Awesome.

While I listen to the growing list of the Can'ts in my diet (no starches, mushrooms, blue cheeses), the list of Cans slowly dwindle away.  He sends me on my way, with no real guidance (or so I think).  Here I am today, with a diagnosis I don't know how to handle, and a big question mark as to what dinner will be tonight.

Welcome to my blog. Over the next few months I will share with you my journey of discovery as I try to follow Dr. P's orders. Wish me luck. I'll need it!